How I Rate the Movies I Watch
I'm a big fan of movies and, big surprise, focus mostly on the guy-flic genres - action, sci-fi, horror, crude comedy, animation, anime, etc. I don't often rent musicals, chic-flics, movies about guys watching chic-flicks or movies about guys watching chic-flics in hopes of convincing chics that they prefer those sorts of movies over flics involving action, sci-fi, horror, crude comedy, animation or anime.
To the right you'll find a list of movies I've recently viewed with convenient links to their Internet Movie Database (IMDB) entries. To the left of each title you'll find my totally opinionated opinion about the movie using my patented one to five rating scale.
Here's how I rate movies.
1/5 ~ I was unable to get past the first fifteen minutes of this piece of trash and might have been unable to get past even its opening DvD menu. Rather than waste 90 minutes of my life watching this cinematographic fur-ball I opted instead to spend the time in quiet reflection crying over the senseless waste of good DvD plastic that was this movie's creation.
2/5 ~ I watched the movie all the way to the end but, in order to make it that far, I had to dig deep into my soul and use the determination and courage I employ when I get a filling from the dentist without any anaesthetic. More than likely I'd reached the mid point of the movie and, being a stubborn moron, refused to put those just spent 45 minutes of my life to waste by not watching to the end the entire piece of crap that is this movie.
3/5 ~ I watched the movie all the way to the end, only checked the clock a few times and rather liked it. However it proved to be mostly entertainment with little in the way of substance, directorial creativity or cinematographic excellence. I will watch the movie again once it's the last one left in the rental store. If given this movie as a gift by a loved one it will not be too difficult to simulate sincere appreciation at such a thoughtful gift. "Gosh!! I've already seen it but it's been so long I can't wait to see it again. Thanks!!"
4/5 ~ I really liked this movie and, if it touched my heart, I had a good cry watching it. In fact I liked it so much that I watched most of the bonus materials that were included with the DvD. I thought about the movie for days after and did some research on IMDB searching for previous works by the same director or cinematographer. I will certainly watch this one several times over. This movie has further convinced me that the movies of Steven Segal do not, as previously theorized, represent the pinnacle of Hollywood substance and meaning. If I can see several movies this good during a month then I'm a happy camper.
5/5 ~ This one's a keeper and there's a greater than 50% chance that the day after watching the movie I popped into Amazon.ca and bought a copy of the DvD. I've decided to name my next World of Warcraft character after the director of the movie. In celebration of such a great viewing experience, I happily burn half my collection of ever dwindling Steven Segal DvDs. In a great year I might be fortunate enough to see five or six movies of this caliber.
To the right you'll find a list of movies I've recently viewed with convenient links to their Internet Movie Database (IMDB) entries. To the left of each title you'll find my totally opinionated opinion about the movie using my patented one to five rating scale.
Here's how I rate movies.
1/5 ~ I was unable to get past the first fifteen minutes of this piece of trash and might have been unable to get past even its opening DvD menu. Rather than waste 90 minutes of my life watching this cinematographic fur-ball I opted instead to spend the time in quiet reflection crying over the senseless waste of good DvD plastic that was this movie's creation.
2/5 ~ I watched the movie all the way to the end but, in order to make it that far, I had to dig deep into my soul and use the determination and courage I employ when I get a filling from the dentist without any anaesthetic. More than likely I'd reached the mid point of the movie and, being a stubborn moron, refused to put those just spent 45 minutes of my life to waste by not watching to the end the entire piece of crap that is this movie.
3/5 ~ I watched the movie all the way to the end, only checked the clock a few times and rather liked it. However it proved to be mostly entertainment with little in the way of substance, directorial creativity or cinematographic excellence. I will watch the movie again once it's the last one left in the rental store. If given this movie as a gift by a loved one it will not be too difficult to simulate sincere appreciation at such a thoughtful gift. "Gosh!! I've already seen it but it's been so long I can't wait to see it again. Thanks!!"
4/5 ~ I really liked this movie and, if it touched my heart, I had a good cry watching it. In fact I liked it so much that I watched most of the bonus materials that were included with the DvD. I thought about the movie for days after and did some research on IMDB searching for previous works by the same director or cinematographer. I will certainly watch this one several times over. This movie has further convinced me that the movies of Steven Segal do not, as previously theorized, represent the pinnacle of Hollywood substance and meaning. If I can see several movies this good during a month then I'm a happy camper.
5/5 ~ This one's a keeper and there's a greater than 50% chance that the day after watching the movie I popped into Amazon.ca and bought a copy of the DvD. I've decided to name my next World of Warcraft character after the director of the movie. In celebration of such a great viewing experience, I happily burn half my collection of ever dwindling Steven Segal DvDs. In a great year I might be fortunate enough to see five or six movies of this caliber.
(HD) ~ This means I watched the movie in it's High Definition format (HD-DVD). I make mention of this for (a) the cool geek factor but also (b) the fact that the high definition format punches up the content so much my rating might be scewed just a bit.
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